A Man’s Best Friend: Nora

I will never forget our second date. Jason offered to bring Thai take out over to my house. I had just come back from a weekend in the mountains so it was kind of a last minute, unplanned thing, that stemmed from us being super excited about each other and not wanting more time to pass before we got to see each other again. We were making the plans and he said “I have kind of a favor to ask you. You can say no…but I was wondering if I could bring my dog?” Thinking about that now, still makes me smile. If you know Jason you know how ‘him’ that question is. It said so much about him then, when I was first getting to know him. It still speaks so much to who he was. I thought it was so sweet. I watched the way Jason loved Nora. She was his best buddy, his little angel. She was his baby. Jason fed Nora like a queen. “food is love” was his favorite comment when my mom would see him sneak Nora some extra snacks. I’m not even sure you can call it sneaking, it was pretty out there in the open. Because of Nora’s eating habits, Charlie (my parent’s dog) has now started eating like a king.

Nora adores me, as I do her. But it wasn’t always that way. She’s quite shy at first, and doesn’t just welcome you with open arms like the golden retriever’s I was used to growing up with. Nora is also kind of a chicken shit, that’s what Jason would call her when she’d get spooked over the silliest things. He’d say that made her very loyal dog. That night when Jason first brought Nora over to the house, she wasn’t so sure about me. I told him he could bring her under one condition, no dogs on the furniture. Nora was raised in an environment where she was allowed on everything, but he reluctantly said of course. We were hanging out watching a show and she would just stand there and stare at us. By the end of the evening Nora had her place in one of the large blue chairs in the living room, a blanket draped over it. I caved quickly. I think at this point it was probably being so into Jason that made me cave. But over time, my caving to Nora became a balance of my total love for Jason and Nora. They both stole my heart.

Over the course of our relationship she was allowed on more and more furniture. First it was the guest room bed. Then it was our bed. When I met Jason, I didn’t have a large king bed, so the thought of Nora sharing with us was a non starter. Instead she’d sleep like a queen in the guest room. When we got a king bed and Jason moved in officially, I was pretty adamant about her not sleeping in the bed with us. Of course over time this changed. She’d snuggle right in next to us as we got ready for the night. Though once she felt in her own space and I think knew this was her home, she’d, as soon as the lights oor TV went off, would jump off the bed and put herself in her chair in the living room. There was one piece of furniture she wasn’t allowed on, the couch, the new west elm couch that I bought in early 2022. I was so set that she was not getting up on there. It lasted that way for years. Until Jason’s cancer reoccurred in October of 2024. My heart gave in. Jason and I would be cuddling on the couch and the idea of having her up there with us, our little family, all together, it convinced me. We’d snuggle on that couch, the three of us more often than not. Especially as things got so hard.

She was there, through it all. They are smarter creatures than we think. For the course of 3-4 months ahead of Jason’s death, I would try to take her out for a mid-day or evening walk, often without him. Any time he would not be with us, she'd walk around the corner, potty and stand there looking at me, communicating, “I'm not going any further”. For a while I thought it was the heat, but I know now, she didn't want to leave Jason.

Our roles in the way we cared for Nora changed over the course of Jason’s sickness. He was always the one to take her out in the morning and feed her. He was also often the one to take her out at nighttime before bed. When his cancer reoccured in October of 2024, that routine changed. Most of it fell on me. I know it upset Jason immensely that he wasn’t taking care of her the way he used to. When I met Jason, he loved this dog more than anything in the world. Over time I stole first place in Jason’s heart, at least I’d like to think so. But Nora, she was his everything. We had our routine. Jason and I would get into bed and Nora would join us, but as soon as the final TV or light would go off, she’d jump off and to sleep in her chair in the living room. As Jason got more uncomfortable, he would sleep out on the couch. Nora would often stay in the bed with me, but at times I’d find her out in her chair in the morning. I think she was checking on him. Every morning I would take her out, and we would come back in, she would peak her head around the corner to see if he was on the couch. She is so smart. If he was sleeping she would come in quietly. If he was sitting up awake she would howl and run over to him, so so happy he was here. When he spent most of July in the hospital, she’d look for him every time we came back from a walk. I would tell her “dad is coming home soon”. The day Jason came home from the hospital, July 31st, Nora and Charlie were eagerly awaiting him at the front door.

She was by his side through it all. Truly, man’s best friend. I know she could sense something was wrong. I am sure she could sense it for most of his cancer journey. She was there when he took his last breaths. She laid behind me in the chair as I held his hand for the hour after. I picked her up to see him, right after he passed, she licked his face. Before the funeral home removed his body I picked her up for one last goodbye, and she squirmed. I reflect on that now, that she knew. She knew he was gone. His soul had left his body, the person she knew and loved was gone. I expected her to look for him more in our daily life since losing him. She doesn’t, not often. Occasionally, if I come home after a long day and through the garage, she runs past me to the car, hoping for him to appear. Sometimes at my parent’s house she runs to the window when she hears a car door, I assume she is looking for him. But she knows. She knows he gone. I wish she could talk back to me, to tell me what she knows and feels. What I hope she knows and understands is that he didn’t choose to leave her. None of this was his choice.

As for me, Jason gave me a gift when he gave me Nora. He allowed her to become my dog. It was never his dog. He was in awe in the way I cared for her, let her become my own. He would text me when I was out that him and Nora were waiting for “mom” to come home. It would usually be followed by a photo of her in her chair, looking at the garage door watching for me. He’d say how much he loved how much Nora loved me. Usually followed by “I love you, Lauren! I love this life with you.” Even though Nora is a dog, she is a part of Jason that remains with me. She is our baby. We were not lucky enough to have babies together, but Nora is our baby. She keeps me going. She gets me up and outside on day that feel hard. If I didn’t have her, I would feel even more alone and isolated. She adores me as I adore her. She has become more attached to me since Jason died. I think me to her too. I hate when I have to leave her alone. She is very good at giving me the eyes, which she always would. But apart of me feels even more sad leaving her alone now that Jason is gone. I just want her to know I am coming home.

I will never forget the evening, sometime in early August, right before Jason died. I was helping him into our bed. Nora, the faithful dog, always by his side. He was sitting there and she was curled up next to him. He pet her and he said “Are you going to be ok with this dog.” I am not sure I know exactly what he was trying to communicate to me that day. I think he knew his end was near. Me, I hadn’t fully accepted it. The tears welled up in my eyes and I told him of course, I was her mom and I take good care of her, he knew that. I think about that question a lot. Was he really asking about Nora, or was he asking about me, and if I was going to be ok alone, with Nora.

She licks my tears, just like he promised me she always would when life got hard. Though the other half of that promise was him being here to be my shoulder to cry on. I of course know, if he had the option to uphold his entire promise, he would’ve in a heartbeat. He wanted nothing more than to be here for me, for Nora. He wanted to watch me become a mom, with Nora by my side, cuddled up against a pregnant Lauren. He wanted to watch Nora with our children. Nora misses her dad, and I miss him too. More than anything in this world.

I sit here typing this now, and she brings me a bully stick and sets it on the couch. It is a bone that Jason bought, one for her and one for Charlie. They were at my parent’s house. My mom recently sent them home with me, because Charlie just inhales them too quickly. She won’t chew it. She just carries it around the house, bringing it from room to room. I keep sending photos of her with it to my mom. My mom texted me back and said, “this sounds odd, but do you think she knows it was something Jason bought her”.

It doesn’t sound odd at all. After all, there is a reason dogs are called a man’s best friend.