Letters to Jason: February 14, 2026

Happy Valentine’s Day Jason. I love you husband. I’m angry we didn’t get more married Valentine’s Days. Not that I really cared about Valentine’s Day. I’m just angry we didn’t get more days married, together, period. Oh we deserved so much more time.

But I miss you extra. As the world posts about love. I envy those who don’t feel this type of absence and loss.

I imagine we’d be making a good breakfast if you were here. Nothing fancy but our way of showing we love each other. we never wanted to go out on Valentine’s Day, too crowded and expensive. I think we would’ve come up with something good to eat here. Just like past years.

I imagine you would’ve written me a card. The same way I’d write you one.

The girl who wrote you last year, she said “this love is stronger than all that tries to break us”.

That it is. I just wish love could’ve saved you.

I’m getting a massage with my mom today. And I know you’d be so happy and proud of me. you always wanted me to take care of myself, too. Every time Id book a pedicure or tell you I was going to get one you’d always say oh babe I’m so happy to hear that you deserve it. Please let me pay for you, which is funny cause we are married and sharing accounts, but either way the gesture was so kind and I know you’d be proud of me today for doing something for me and for my mom. To take care of ourselves after everything.

Oh Jason, I miss you with my whole heart. Not a single day since you left this earth has been the same. I love you. I thought we had so many more valentines days ahead of us, this time last year.

We were never one for fancy dinners out on this day or the hype of the Hallmark holiday. But we did take writing each other love letters very seriously.

My love,

You taught me how to love unconditionally.

You taught me that no matter how good a relationship is, love takes work, and that’s a beautiful thing.

You taught me to love myself, all of me. For watching you love me, as I was and am is the greatest blessing I have ever known.

You taught me that the love I give out, is something to be proud of, embraced. A type of love you had been looking for, and the type of love I had been longing to give.

You taught me that there is nothing as “too much”, that the right person would fully embrace all that I am, and would benefit from and fully embrace what others deemed as such.

You taught me to love through the good and the bad.

What the words I love you mean when life gets hard. How much more powerful an “I love you” is when you’ve seen every piece of someone.

How beautiful it is to know love through struggle, even when I wish our struggle ended so differently.

To look at the bad, the trauma, the pain, and still know love conquered all. Our love still prevails.

That cancer cannot take love.

To know what it looks like to lean into love harder than I have in my entire life, because despite how it ended, knowing our love carried us through is a damn beautiful thing.

Now, without you, I am learning love doesn’t leave the day you left this earth.

That this love, it will never leave me.

This love changed me.

That loving you will be the best thing I’ve ever been blessed enough to do.

It is both a tragedy and a privilege to have spent the last years of your life with you.

Thank you for choosing me.

To know a love like ours, is a true privilege.

I will love you forever, just like I promised.