My Person

October 28, 2025

This week has been so hard. It’s only Tuesday! But instead of thoughts about grief I wanted to share a memory about Jason and what it was like having him as my best friend, husband and teammate on my bad days.

It was likely early 2022, Jason and I had been dating now for probably under 6 months. I was having a bad day, I think something to do with work. I was texting him about it. He shows up before the end of my work day and hands me a card, inside it is a chick-fil-a gift card and it says “Lauren, these past few months have been delightful. I love knowing you are there for me when I need it counts most. Today seemed like you could use a little reassurance that I’m there for you too, now and forever. Love Jason. P.s. I love that we will get through anything with confidence. Keep up the hard work and push for your dreams.” Turns out he had texted my mom that day asking the best place to get me a little pick me up.

For three and a half more years Jason picked me up when I was down. He was the voice of reason when my mind was spiraling. The tight body and hug to burry my face into to cry. The person who made me laugh, even when our world was falling apart. Jason was always focused on making sure I was ok. And I fricken miss that. I miss him. Not having him here when my heart is breaking into a thousand pieces sucks more than I can even put into words. I wish more than anything I had my person to hold me tight and tell me everything’s going to be ok.

I’m trying to hold onto moments that make me smile, even if they make me cry. Lately things people have done or said have punched me in the gut and have been hard to recover from. So I search for happier moments with Jason to bring myself to a “better” space. I watch google photos to remind me what life used to be like. At the end photos of the card in my story. It sits tucked in my bedside drawer in a stack full of cards and notes from Jason.